“What Are You Looking For?”
A Sermon by the Rev. Dr. Hilary J. Barrett for Epiphany2
Preached at Pleasantville UCC, January 16, 2011
Psalm 40 & John 1:29-42

"When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, 'What are you looking for?'
They said to him, 'Rabbi' (which translated means Teacher), 'where are you staying?'
He said to them, 'Come and see.'"

He was desperate.  The pastor could see that.  His face was a roadmap of weariness and anxiety.  He was so agitated that he couldn’t be still.  He had no appointment but that didn’t matter; other things would have to wait.  It didn’t even seem to matter that there were people standing nearby.  What he needed was a moment and a quiet corner and the pastor’s undivided attention.  And when he had that moment, he confessed his sin right there and then and begged for forgiveness.  He spoke from the depths of his being and meant every word.  He was a man looking for forgiveness and he was desperate to receive it.

She had done it again.  She had lost her temper again; she was so angry it seemed like she had lost her mind.  She was tired of being so tightly wound; tired of being so brittle that she always ended up looking crazy – lashing out at people.  Why didn’t he understand how important this was to her?!  He never understood how important this was to her.  But it didn’t matter anymore what they had been fighting about.  Now it had become about her, and her anger, and the way she dealt with things.  If only she could deal with things.  If only she could find some peace.  She was desperate to find some peace.

They came by the hundreds.  They weren’t sure why they came exactly but they knew they had to.  They brought flowers and left them in piles all around.  They lit candles and put them wherever they could.  There left teddy bears and cards with messages of love and prayers for healing.  They gathered in moments of silence; they held hands and made a circle in the playground; they waited and wept and wondered.  Why did it happen?  What could we have done?  How could such things be?  They were desperate; desperate to find some meaning.

They came to the desert.  They heard he was out there.  They came to be baptized; to have their sins washed away.  They came down to the Jordan because they heard that people were being healed there. 

The man who begged for forgiveness was there.  And that woman who was so angry all the time, she was there too.  There were people there who’d seen terrible things; people who had been hurt so bad that they no longer believed in any thing or any one. 

But their hope wasn’t dead yet because they were here.  They were here and they were thinking: maybe this guy was for real.

And when Jesus walked by they heard someone say, “Look!  Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” and so they followed him.

But when Jesus realized that he was being followed, he turned around and said to them:

“What are you looking for?”

Jesus was always doing that.  He was always asking people questions:

He asked those first disciples: What are you looking for?

And he asked Mary at the tomb, Woman, why do you weep?

He asked the storm-tossed disciples, Why are you afraid?

He asked the woman caught in adultery, Woman, where are your accusers? 

To those who came to him for healing he said, What do you want me to do for you?

Jesus was always asking questions that forced people to get to the heart of things; questions that made them think; made them get clear.

What are you looking for? 

Those are the first words of Jesus recorded in John’s gospel. 

It’s almost as if Jesus is trying to show people that being clear about what you are looking for is the first and most important thing when you’re following the Lord.  Because if we’re not clear what we’re looking for, we might end up looking for the wrong thing; we might end up looking for love in all the wrong places; we might end up searching around for fame and fortune.

We’ve got to know what we’re looking for, because – whether we want to face it or not -- that’s what’s driving the bus.

What are you looking for? Jesus asks.

What would you say?  How would you respond?

Would you want to know the meaning of life? 

Would you want to know how to square a good God with the bad things that happen in this world? 

Would you want to know what your future holds?

The thing is those two disciples didn’t  ask those questions.  When Jesus asked them “What do you want?” they answered: “We want to know where you are staying.”  We want to follow where you lead.  We want to be wherever you are – even if the journey is costly and involves suffering.  We want you, Jesus.

It’s not a bad answer.

We want you.

There was a man who was so desperate for healing they he swept aside all his concerns about what people might say or think and he went to see his pastor because he needed to know that he could be forgiven.

There was a woman, who was so tired of being angry that she finally gave in.  She knew she couldn’t live this way anymore.  She knew that she needed to be healed. 

There was a nation so brokenhearted by the cruelty of the world that they just gathered and wept and waited together for a word of hope.

“What are you looking for?”  Jesus wants to know.

We are looking for you, Lord.  Even if we don’t know it yet, we’re looking for you.

Amen.